Time For A Change
by The Closet Romantic
Summary: Oneshot. My first fic! Even the pyro has his deep moments. Axel does some thinking about his past, his somebody. And along the way an unexpected visitor shares their own thoughts...


Greetings! And welcome to my very first posted fanfic, "Time For A Change." I hope you enjoy it! Constructive criticism is always welcome, and flames will be given to Axel so he can come back from his "vacation" and be in Kingdom Hearts 3!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything from Kingdom Hearts, sadly. Square Enix is the genius who created it.

* * *

"_Does it ever stop raining here?"_

The pyro murmured to himself, having been awakened by the soft sounds of yet another rain storm. But it was the kind of question that didn't need an answer. He had been residing in the castle long enough to know that the weather in the World That Never Was always stayed the same, regardless of the season.

"Season?" He whispered to no one in particular, "This place doesn't even have seasons. Hell, I don't think time even _moves_ here."

Axel sat up from his queen size bed with a sleepy groan and strode over to the large window on the west wall of his room. He quietly sat down on the black velvet window seat and ran a hand through his spiky red hair. His deep emerald eyes scanned across the darkened sky as he rested his cheek against the cool glass.

"_It's one of those days,"_ he thought, _"when everyone's out on some mission except for me."_

He sighed softly, wishing that Xemnas had assigned him something, anything. At that point in time, he was so desperate, he would have put up with Demyx in Atlantica for a whole day. And that's saying something. Something like, Axel hated these days. The days when it seemed like his true self, his true memories, were just within reach, begging to be captured. But every time he tried to grab them, to hold on forever and never let go, they just faded away into the darkness.

"_They're mocking me,"_ he thought, his mind's voice on the brink of insanity,_"But why?_ Why can't I remember anything?!"

By then he was shouting out loud, yelling at someone or something who wasn't there. The pyro unclenched his fist and put his gloved hand to his forehead. He took a deep breath, in an attempt to regain his calm composure. Axel looked back out of the window and heard the soft _pitter-patter _of the rain drops gently falling against the castle's massive roof. The almost hypnotic sound nearly sent him back into his slumber, but just when his eyelids started to droop, an enormous yellow bolt of lightning slashed across the sky, illuminating the entire side of the castle. But he wasn't frightened nor surprised. Not in the least. Although he was a little curious as to why Larxene wasn't out on a mission like everyone else.

"_Unless of course, it's not Larxene."_

He grinned hopefully, maybe something was finally changing, even something as small as a change in the weather brightened his mood. But his sudden thoughts were silenced when three obviously controlled bolts of lightning shot up from the castle's highest point and collided with the hordes of angry clouds, opening up the sky for a brief moment.

"_Damn it. Nothing's ever gonna change around here, is it?"_

As another bolt struck right through the sky and it's angry gray guardians, it lit up the night for a brief second. But that second gave him just enough time to see the concentrated glare of his fellow nobody, Larxene, her hands moving gracefully in sync with the powerful element above her. Axel wondered for a moment if the same things happened to her. If her memories would come and go, like his.

"_Maybe I'm... not as alone... as I thought." _

He smiled at the thought of not being the only one having to endure the punishment of being a nobody, having to completely abandon your old life and start over.

"_Start over from what though? The more I think about it, the more I don't want to find out about my somebody. If who I am here is anything like who my somebody was, I must've pissed a lot of people off. But..."  
_

He paused for a moment, briefly addressing the silent questions in his mind. Was he... dead? Or not? Was his somebody still alive, or was he dead? And if his somebody _was_ dead, did that make himself dead too?

"Argh..."

Axel grasped his head between his hands and clenched his teeth in mental agony. So many questions swirling around in his mind. So little answers. But no way to answer them all. It actually physically hurt him just thinking about it. There was an almost unbearable pain in his chest, right where his heart should have been.

"If I'm no one or nothing, why can I be seen, or heard? Why do I feel pain? If I was absolutely nothing, I wouldn't be able to feel or do any of those things." He spoke out loud, trying to convince himself that it was the truth. "So... I must have _something_ left over from my somebody. A vague memory that keeps me... me. If that makes any sense."

"It does."

He nearly jumped at the soft voice that came out of nowhere. He looked up from his seat near the window and expected to be just hearing things. But he was oddly surprised to see Larxene's small figure leaning casually against the slightly ajar door frame. He looked out at the window at the less angry sky and realized that the lightning had suddenly ceased.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you... wuss." She smiled playfully, challenging him to a game of words.

Axel dropped his gaze to the floor and smiled at bit at her only slightly hurtful humor towards him. But he didn't have the heart (no pun intended) to laugh, he was too deep in thought. He kept his eyes on the floor, seeming extremely interested in the many small threads that made up the white carpet. Sensing that something was wrong, Larxene entered his room quietly, her feet soundlessly making their way closer to his current position on the window seat.

"So," she questioned as she sat down next to him on the velvet bench, "who were you talking to? Your imaginary friend?"

Axel opened his mouth to shoot back some sarcastic retort, but instead tried something else.

"Sort of. Not really a friend. Not really imaginary. Just... not here."

Larxene didn't expect a legitimate answer, so she mentally scraped her next sarcastic remark and was soon bewildered at Axel's answer. He saw her face go from amused to confused in one second. She stared at him with her ocean blue eyes for several moments, until he gave her grin and tried to ease her confusion.

"Lighten up, I'm just joking." He looked again at her baffled expression and added in his head, _"mostly."_

"R-right." She seemed hesitant, like she thought Axel had finally cracked. "Just joking." She twiddled one of her blond antennae between her thumb and index finger while thinking of what to do next.

"So," Axel said, wanting to try and prove he wasn't on the brink of insanity by striking up a normal conversation, "why aren't you out on a mission like every body else?"

She seemed to relax a little, since Axel was starting to _sound_ like he wasn't crazy. So the nymph tried to seem content and just go with the flow.

"_Xemnas," _she said his name slowly, dragging it out like it was the worst thing in the world, "said I should take a break after the last, a-hem, _incident." _

"You mean when you killed all of Marluxia's plants in his little garden and almost made him cry?"

"No, the other thing."

"The Land of Dragons?" He guessed again, pleased to see that his plan to distract her was working.

She smirked evilly, recalling the events of last week when she "accidentally" lit all of the fireworks in one of the Chinese temples and nearly maimed half of the organization.

"Mmm hmm, yeah, that's the one."

They stayed like that for several moments, enjoying the friendly silence between them. Not realizing it, they both strayed off into their minds, thinking about things entirely different, but completely the same.

"_If only she knew what I was really thinking about right now..."  
_

"_If only I actually trusted him enough to tell him..." _

"_I wish I could tell her..."_

"_I do trust him..."_

"_Yeah, that's it, I'm gonna ask her about the memories."_

"_I could. I should. I can... I will."_

"Hey Larxene."

"Hey Axel."

They both asked at the same time, each question overlapping the other.

"Sorry," Axel said apologetically, "you go first."

"Uh, that's fine you go ahead." Larxene said a little too quickly, her nervousness easily detected in her voice and the awkward chuckle that followed.

"Well I've been doing some thinking lately," he paused, rethinking the wording of his statement, "Ok, I've been doing _a lot_ of thinking lately..." He strayed off, nervous about what her reaction would be.

"About..." She offered a small smile, encouraging him to go on.

"About... my somebody. And stuff like that. And I realized that, well, you heard me earlier, right?"

She recalled not to long ago when she had overheard Axel talking out loud about how he _had_ to be something or someone, otherwise he would be invisible, unable to do or touch or feel anything. She nodded slowly, silently answering his question.

"I've just been really... depressed lately, if I can be that because, well..." He fumbled, trying to come up with a way to tell her _everything_ but in a way she wouldn't think of him as insane. "Argh this is too complicated I don't know how to explain-"

He was abruptly cut off by a single cold finger put silently to his lips to stop him from continuing.

"Stop." Larxene whispered, worried that he was hurting himself mentally by thinking about the subject too hard.

"You don't have to explain it all to me. You're confused about your past. And you're curious. Like me. That's all I need to know. Don't hurt yourself, please."

She removed her finger from his lips and cautiously moved her hand down to rest on his, before continuing to talk with a look of understanding.

"I've been thinking about things too. Like, what happened to me? How did I even become part of the organization? They're questions I ask myself everyday. It doesn't make a difference though. Thinking's not going to answer anything."

She started to get more confident, so she rose up from the window seat, still gently holding Axel's hand, and lead him over to his door.

"And since it's obvious you need a lesson in taking action," she said, her sarcastic demeanor slowly returning, "I think you should try something."

"What, one of your little sadistic games?" Axel finally retorted, having understood what she meant by thinking not being able to solve his problems.

She smiled at him, but this time, it wasn't an evil smile or a malicious one, it was real. Her expression soon got to Axel and he too, started to grin like an idiot.

"You want something to change, don't you?" She whispered quietly, looking him right in his deep green eyes.

So quickly that Axel wasn't even sure it had happened, Larxene stretched up on her toes to reach his height and swiftly kissed him on cheek.

"So do I."

And with that, Larxene left his room with a smile Axel would carry in his memories forever. His own memories. Not his somebody's. And right then, Axel understood. He needed to make his own identity, not dwell on the past.

"Looks like... I was right." He smiled to himself, remembering his thoughts less than an hour ago. "I'm definitely not as alone as I thought."

He heard the massive doors to the castle open, and the many exhausted groans of his fellow organization members. And for once, he didn't stay in his room wondering about unreachable memories. He looked out of the window once more, out at the sky, and for a second, he thought he had seen a single ray of sunshine burst through the clouds and bounce off of the window.

"Larxene's right." He said defiantly, a wave of understanding practically overwhelming him. The pyro opened his door and headed down towards the castle doors, eager to see his... friends. Wanting to start a new adventure.

And he knew two things after his talk with Larxene. First of all, he did have a friend. And second of all...

Axel reached the bottom of the steps, seeing Larxene waiting for him at the bottom, the same smile still gracing her face.

...it was time for a change.


End file.
